That moment would haunt him for the remainder of his life... had he pursued the kiss, it could have had far-reaching effects that could not be reversed... He could have lost respectability as Commander from her, his men, and the people... and worse yet, the same could have lost all respectability of her... destroyed before she could even get started... tag her with titles far below her true nature.

But if he had been a different man, he would have seen that she too was lost in that moment. That their chests rose and fell to beating hearts, to gasped breaths of the closeness... and yet, Fate deemed it differently... and in his distracted state, he had fallen...and his face flushed, even while he was recuperating from the fall.

“You had me. And let me go.”

Standing there, waiting for her attack, he held a smirk at bay, but yet, it crept from its restraints as a smile, not a smirk. “Si, Signorina... a fault all my own... One that Dante had reprimanded me time after time...” and his mind wavered to what Dante would have thought should he had kissed her instead of losing that focus on the sword?

“Dante is the master of sword... sadly, I am much to learn about the sword, even at my age.” Still he held his sword at the ready, waiting for an attack, for surely she was like her mentor now; unrelenting with the sword til the opponent is disarmed or defeated. And he had things he could teach her, himself... the long gun for one, for there was none better... BUT...

Could he keep the distraction at bay long enough to teach her?

@Crymson

She saw his neck and cheeks flush under the trimmed facial hair and she felt much worse. Mercedes thought she had upset the man, by pushing him to the earth. Most men did not like being overcome by a female, in any way, and most certainly not when they were pressed back because they were distracted or off their center.

“Si, Signorina... a fault all my own... One that Dante had reprimanded me time after time...” and his mind wavered to what Dante would have thought should he had kissed her instead of losing that focus on the sword?

“Dante is the master of sword... sadly, I am much to learn about the sword, even at my age.”

He make an excuse and offer a smile as he rise and reset his footing, raise his blade for the ready. Mercedes watch him closely, listening to his commendations for Lieutenant d’Ettore. Of which Mercedes would agree, Dante was a skilled swordsmen and took his teaching very seriously. He was undoubtedly a harsh task master when it came to dancing with blades. And Mercedes was learning. Her previous skill handling other razor sharp instruments had helped her, but Dante had refined her technique.

Was she as skilled, no, not by far. But she were better than most expected a recruit to be and rarely expected a female to be capable of. And if Capitan D’ezzelini were not as skilled he was still experienced enough to best her, by many years. He had. And then they had both been side tracked… greatly… by one another’s allure. Mercedes were mightily attracted to her Capitan and it was concerning her greatly. It were making her stupid around him.

Did he sense it? Or did he think she were just so untrained? Could he feel her heart race in the vibration of her blade as he held it, pinned into the stone wall? Or in her rapid exhale upon his face as he leant so close. Did he see it in the depth of her deep espresso colored eyes as they watch one another?

Now she shake her head at him. No. Slowly. Smiling.

“I give my Capitan. I am distracted and tired. And I can give here in this setting rather than on patrol. I take advantage of the barracks this time. And ask you to forgive me for the fall?”

@William

There was a gnawing at his gut... and his heart raced... and he tried hard not to display any annoyance of his hand shaking. To hide it, he would work his wrist as if to toy with her as he stood in his stance... but she simply shook her head, slowly and smiled. Her guard would fade away and she sheathed her sword. And her words made him tilt his head, and glance down. The situation tickled at his brain. It was all his fault... why could he just not tell her how he felt about her?

“Why?” The voice echoed in his brain. “You foolish love-struck buffoon... she is beautiful, exotic, and strong. What more do you seek in a woman? Your ass has been alone for so long, even the whores joke about the Captain that has lost his cock.”

In another instant, the other side of his mind echoed another voice... “You cannot tell her how you feel... she is a woman on a mission, proud and determined. To tell her would be but to embarrass her... to lose sight of what she needs to do and succumb to her womanly desire. If she is the chosen one, then fate shall proffer a means to consummate a future with her. Give her space... tell her not, for she would lose hope of accomplishing her goals.”

The inner discussion between the good and the bad seemed to last forever, but in truth it had only been an eye-blink. And he watched her sword find its home. And he did the same. And stepped to her. “Signorina, are you not well?” and he absentmindedly, reached out and lifted her chin, in a possibly all too familiar manner... and when the dark eyes looked at him, and he realized what he had done, he pulled back his hand as if the touch had been too hot. “Escuso Signorina... I think you may be correct, we have accomplished a lot today...” and he shook his head, and his lip quirked a bit. “No need to apologize, and no forgiveness necessary... it was my own loss of concentration, not yours...”

And he stepped back a bit and brushed off his clothing in a cloud of dust and he suddenly sneezed, which made his laugh.





@Crymson

They stand mere feet apart he circling the tip of his blade as he rotates his wrist looking at her. Waiting for her to take form and press on. But she cannot. She cannot think when he looks at her like that. Mon Dios! She can barely breathe she pan her head down to hide her eyes. And when sword are down and safely sheathed he reaches, strong fingers not as calloused as other men’s pull her chin up and she feel the warmth from that small touch and is make her catch her breath.

“Signorina, are you not well?”

No! Yes! Por Que Dios! His hand it is stolen away quick as if Marco had touched a sharp pain. And he steps back apologizing.

“Escuso Signorina... I think you may be correct, we have accomplished a lot today...” and he shook his head, and his lip quirked a bit. “No need to apologize, and no forgiveness necessary... it was my own loss of concentration, not yours...”

It make her lip quiver and her hands shake. And she nod her head up and down and say nothing. Yes she were most un well.And she needed to leave before she started crying. Why cry?! You stupid girl. She look up at him once more and try to smile but it turns to a grimace. And she pivot quickly, quicker than when they were clashing swords, nearly hitting the wall with her shoulder, catching herself with a hand before such.

“Forgive me.” And she were not… going… to run… she did not want to flee like a humiliated and scared rabbit. But she did. She took two maybe three normal steps and then Marco would know she were going to dart off.

And in her mind it were racing. How can she work here day in and day out and know he watches. Those dark eyes, that fine crinkling under them when he smile. The distinct smell of his cologne. No it were not the leather soap, it were something he chose to don. And it were not on any other man she work near or with. And she miss it. She miss seeing him smile. And his flesh on her chin, innocent, burned white hot and made her quiver. How could a single brush of flesh honestly placed do such?

She had to leave. She’d not be able to work. And she’d make a bad example for the men when she train and not be focused. Now this did make her cry. And she could not hold back the tears. She tried to rally and tell herself that she only see the Capitan when testing, or for orders. And it were true. If she did not go seek him out. And if she could push through such surprise tests as this by him… And the Padre he had told her that it were her actions and not her feeling that mattered. That if she did not act… improper… then no dishonor would be placed on either of them.

A world of thoughts in the flash of mere seconds. And she were transitioning in her gait from hard won steady normal paced, to a fretted hurry to flee before an explanation were requested. A hand held out to guard the wall and the other to wipe at her cheeks, to erase the evidence of her confliction.

“Si Eh Capitan no estoy bien.”

@William

“Forgive me.”

Words proffered for no reason... and he was stunned; not by her words but by his actions... by his thoughts. By God, he was in territory, ne’r had he been before. He was far from inexperienced in women... but this woman, one so special; yes, she had behexed him... had bewitched him !! But she’d done nothing... no words of magic, no odd waves of hand or piercing eyes. She had been nothing save, the woman who wished to learn, to excel in her duties and earn some coin.

But Dante knew she was good... at learning the blade... quick to study, to absorb the instruction and put into action; and said as much to him. But he still “tested” her... to place his actions, even maybe misguided actions under the category of *testing* instead of into the correct category of *wanting*. Wanting to be near her... wanting to see her beauty up close... wanting to look into those dark wonderful eyes... wanting just to breathe in her scent, regardless if it was sweat or perfume.

“Si Eh Capitan no estoy bien.”

Did she run away... did she want to run away? He did not know, nor did her care... she was no longer near him and there was a void. And nearly walking into a wall, she told him she was not well. And neither was he... for other reasons surely. Maybe she did not like being around him. Maybe he intimidated her in some manner.

And he returned to his office... to his chambers behind it... and he dropped his sword belt and pulled off his boots and shirt and lay down upon his narrow cot. His mind running ramped at what just occurred. Why didn’t she feel well? How could he continue to be near her, and not reveal how he truly feels? Could he find a sorcerer to remove this feeling? But he did not truly want that to go away. She made him feel alive; much more alive than the job did; though that was his life for so long, and he loved it. But, he did love....

No, do not love something that loves you not !! Blades and Bullets is all you need to be concerned with....


@Crymson

She fled, the farther she ran the harder she cried. She was such a fool. He being a good, honorable man, a teacher, her leader and only testing her. And she thought childish things. Not childish … *womanly* things more so than the mooning of a youth. But they were thing she had no experience in, none, and had no idea how to resolve them. So she retreated rather than press into uncharted territory. In expeditions it were wise to scout ahead slowly, in such conditions. And so she fell back on the only experience she did have for such quandaries.

She were not watching where she were doing as she rushed away and bumped into Dante. She look up and see her Lieutenant and he see surprise on her face and she not stop. She were so upset and she not want anyone else to see her she left the barracks. And headed on her track to run the city. And it were a trek she knew without much thought and it led her to the Drunk Duck It were her first safe harbor and she had gotten to know some of the familia very well. Her tears had dried and her breathe had been forced to even through her jaunt. But she were still very upset and starting to feel heart sore.

She started into some chores she knew the Inn needed and that she could do. And everyone of the Zonatta household knew something were seriously wrong. Mercedes were never so mechanical and so quiet. And she says nothing, just bury her head into the tasks and try not to cry. Her one job… and she were going to have to leave it. How could she stand before him and resign… like the frivolous type of person that he did not want in his Reggimento. And that made her break and cry, hard. She sat at the table and bury her head and sob.

How could she go back to the Barracks at all?
And Dante had seen her so upset?

Obviously it were all her problem. The Captain was just being a good Leader and making sure she were up to the task. The two, Dante and Marco, had been doing this for five years with their tests of recruits. Dante the only one making apologies for his subterfuge in her testing and training. Would she get an apology later in her training from the Capitan testing her so?

She could not stay and see him, learn he had found some humor in her feelings. See his ego puffed up by her affections when he held none for her. How could he? And she could only imagine failing the next test, like she had today, when he surprise her off guard again. She had not finished with him today, it were a failure. He think she unwell, and she agreed but not sick--- well lovesick maybe.

What were she going to do?


@William @Elena

Francesco was the one serving today in the inn, as Tribiano was doing his civic duty and Cesare and his family were visiting his father-in-law, which meant also returning with meat for the inn, as her father was a butcher and he had the exclusivity of supplying the "Drunken Duck" with meat. Not poultry, however – chicken and ducks were taken from a farmer on one of the islands in the lagoon.

He saw that something was wrong with Mercedes when she came to offer her help, but she looked so distracted. When she couldn't stand it and started crying, Francesco did the best he could: he brought her from the kitchen a glass of lemonade with honey and lavender flavour – as they put always mint, anis, lavender or sweet basil leaves to give additional flavour to their homemade lemonade – and told her:

"Drink some of this, it is sweet and tart like life. If you can't see now the sweet part of life, you'll find it in the lemonade glass."

It was just a start of the friendly help. He knew well that sorrow could swim. In lemonade maybe better than in ale, how he had tried to drown it a few months ago. The next was to bring Mama Lucia to her.

Mama Lucia was still not feeling well, after the shock of her youngest daughter's death, but the doctor had come in the morning and he had told her that she could walk around, only to keep taking her medicine regularly and not to do any efforts, such as… work, for example. As staying idle wasn't in her nature, she was knitting something for her grandchildren. At least this didn't involve any physical effort, just patience…

This was how Francesco had found her when he came, alarmed, asking for her help:

"Mama, I think I need you downstairs, please. Mercedes is crying and she wouldn't say what is the matter."

"Go back to your duties. I am coming."

For a maternal heart, this was enough to have another preoccupation and forget about being idle. She descended the stairs slowly and she sat at the same table. A calloused hand caressed Mercedes' hair, landing on her shoulder.

"I see Francesco had started well, by offering you something refreshing. Tears have their place too, but they don't solve anything. If you tell me what's the matter, maybe two minds can work better than one and find a solution to any trouble. Here or in the garden?" she asked.

@Crymson, @William

"Drink some of this, it is sweet and tart like life. If you can't see now the sweet part of life, you'll find it in the lemonade glass."

It were Francesco who come and set a cool glass of drink to offer her some sentiments. She was embarrassed mightily and wiped at her face quickly as he spoke. While she sipped the drink to hide her quivering lip. If she had a room still at the Inn she would go hide in it, she did not have one. She had hoped that through working she would resolve her feelings in some form that was not heart wrenching. But she had not found such a way. She did not want to leave, she did not want to tell Marco and she did not want to be so close and act stupid near him anymore. So there were no honorable way to resolve it than being a fool.

And being a lovesick fool would make the men think she is not as good or working as hard to be a good Reggimento recruit. She would not win their trust. Shortly Mama Zonatta had found her.

“Here or in the garden?”

“I don’t mean to make a scene in your Inn Signora, I am sorry.” she was sniffling still and it were obvious she had cried very hard. Her face were ruddy and her lower lip were quivering. But she were trying to be brave and calm her wild emotions. Over things she had never felt so strongly. A crush yes, but they were so quick to pass over. Or once speaking too long with the source they were quickly snuffed. But this… was confusing and terrifying.

“Here you do not need to be taxed walking and I can stop making a fuss.” She were making a grand show of rallying her feelings and emotions. But it were not so secured. She were truly flummoxed and had no previous accounts to guide from. It took her a bit to get the words, to get her breathing to steady. And she would nod and her hand was tapping her thigh.

“I am a silly nina and mixed my own emotions over a man I admire. He is honest and thoughtful. And has allowed me a place to earn, to learn and to work. And Protection. And I… I… dishonor him with such silly notions. I make his offer a farce by not being able to train under his eyes … because… I am distracted by him. So I make his choice to hire me look poor.”

There were so much she did not say, but it were not too hard to read between the lines. She were having a crush, or much more upon a man. But would the Zonatta matriarch know it were Marco, or think it could possibly be Dante. For they surely knew that both men were her instructors and her commanders. But she never spoke of Dante is such a way when she speak of her sword fighting against him.

“I do not know how to fulfill my duty and not make them disappointed in me.”

@Elena Mention only @William

Francesco stepped away, letting the two women talk in confidence. Mama Lucia was good at comforting. Better than anyone else in the inn. This was exactly why he had brought her and not Margareta.

Mama Lucia wanted to comfort Mercedes. She had grown fond of this young woman in the time she had spent in the inn. And now, that she had lost a daughter recently, her love was showered onto the others who needed it. Why not on the Spanish young woman in front of her, who was so embarrassed?

”No reason to be sorry. I don’t see it as a scene. Merely overflown emotions, and it is no problem. It happens sometimes. Otherwise we would be stones, not people.”

Her calloused hand was trying to caress Mercedes’ head. When she had proposed the garden, that was thinking about giving the young woman a bit of privacy, or at least the illusion of it.

”I am here, wherever you need me to be,” she said.

As expected somehow, the problem was a matter of heart. At first, she didn’t speculate who could have stolen Mercedes’ heart. Of course it could have been Dante or another officer – because Mama Lucia wasn’t born yesterday and she knew that the recruits were subordinated to a whole hierarchy. She didn’t know Marco, except from some stories of her sons, but it didn’t matter too much for her who was the man. At least, not in this moment. It would matter at some time, maybe. For now, it was important to cheer her up, to show her that everyone had passed through such moments and it was just a step towards a possible happiness.

”Where have you learnt that love means dishonour? To be loved by such a pure heart like you can be a honour if the man isn’t already married or engaged,” she smiled. ”And you can focus on training under his eyes, exactly because you want him to appreciate you. It was just the shock of discovering your feelings for him, I am sure. Every love has its steps. This is one of them. It takes more concentration than usual to do the tasks under his scrutinizing eyes. But you can do it. And the reward might come afterwards.”

She replied to each of Mercedes’ words:

”First and foremost, your love should be one more reason, besides the ambition I know already that you have, to fulfill your duty and to make him proud of you. Love had inspired poems, legends, masterpieces of all kind. If it makes you want to be good and admired, this is exactly what you need to strive further,” she said. ”Let him be your inspiration in being a better fighter! And perhaps, with noticing your professional qualities, the man will notice your beautiful, soulful eyes too some day.”

So what if it was Dante she was talking about? Maybe yes, maybe not. And if yes, he was young. He wouldn’t mourn for life the lost wife, no matter that she was Mama Lucia’s beloved Anzola, may God rest her in peace. He needed a woman by his side, and most likely children to make him forget the pain of the lost ones. Some day he might wake up from his mourning and set his eyes on this beauty, who would deserve him. And if it wasn't about him... so what? Any man should be proud to be loved by such an accomplished woman!

@Crymson

Had his ears been burning because people were talking about him? Maybe, but his heart felt like it was in the pit of his stomach... the previous training session with Mercedes did not go as planned, and his mind seemed to formulate all sorts of scenarios as to what he had done to upset her so... her abrupt departure, and damn-near walking into that wall causing him concern. Normally, Marco was adept in recognizing issues and concerns, and formulating courses of action to alleviate any concerns or issues. But, to him, she was not just any woman... not just any recruit, male or female. Of all the women he had known... of all that had fawned over him and he paid them no mind, this woman... this woman had quickly come to interest him, where none others did... and though he fought the temptation, she found a place in his heart.

And now, in the few days she had been gone on her leave of absence, he found him missing her... and upon her return, he desired to tell her of it... but he knew he could not. And in the midst of sword practice, he found the oddly-timed urge to kiss her... but thank God he was strong... or he would have... well, nothing right for the both of them professionally. And it was eating at him personally.

Mercedes was good at what she did... her sword had come along way; Dante had taught her well. But her eagerness and skill was quickly surpassing many others; but those others were men... that in itself could be an issue if he had shown her special attention in accordance with his heart. And worse yet to come was firearms training. It was not hard to stand behind a man, his hand upon the man’s arm and helped the man aim the long-gun, by giving instructions in the recruit’s ear, whispers meant only for instructions. Just how the hell was he going to stand millimeters from her... to breathe in her scent... to touch her hand, and to whisper in her ear without getting an erection; that distinctive feature of sexual desire????

Marco stood in his office; the sun blaring in the west windows as he watched the shadows grow on the east side of the training area. Dante had informed him of Recruit Sorocco’s absence from training due to illness. But what he and his Lieutenant had not known was Mama Lucia’s message to Dante had been a cover-up. Mercedes was not ill... sick yes, not physically ill. And Marco simply grit his teeth, knowing he should visit as her friend... but as Commander, it was best to leave that to the Sergeants and Lieutenants unless it was a dire situation.

Normality... he needed to keep that standard of normality regardless of what his desires were. Would she understand? Did she know he wanted to console her... to hold her... to let her know all is well?????




@Crymson